If you tell people you are Catholic, they automatically assume this is the reason you don’t have a relationship. While that is the case for some people, that was not the case for me. I desperately wanted a boyfriend. I can think back to when I was a pre-teen, and I had cartoon, heart-eyes for any boy who even looked at me or passed me in the hallway.
I would think to myself:
“Oh my god. (Enter boy’s name) loves me.”
At 23, I started dating my boyfriend, who I have been dating for 2 years now. In those two years, I’ve reflected on my single days with a new perspective.
So, without further adieu, here are 5 reasons I didn’t get into a relationship until later in life:
- Confidence is everything
I was not the type of kid that was good at adopting the philosophy of “fake it till you make it.” I was not confident in flirting, and I made that very clear to boys of all ages.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
2. Education was my focus
I was and still am a very dedicated student. Although I told all my gal pals how desperately I wanted a boyfriend, I didn’t devote as much energy to getting to know the boy’s I was interested in. I was way more concerned with my pre-calculus test that I had later that week. In hindsight though, is any high school boyfriend more important than a high school girl’s education?
I’m sure some high school girls would DEFINITELY disagree with me.
*cue any Taylor Swift song*
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
3. Early twenties = Adventure Time
When I graduated college, I was craving adventure, so that’s exactly what I did. I moved to a small mountain town of 2,000 residents in Colorado, worked at a bakery and a hostel, and ventured out on my own.
I knew no one, and no one knew me!
If I had a boyfriend, and he had come with me, that whole experience would have been different.
I would have known one person, and maybe I wouldn’t have put myself out there as much to meet friends, and create connections.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
4. Relationships seemed SCARY
I had heard horror stories from friends and family about bad relationships being so toxic.
So, I thought to myself: “Uhhh, yeah. I really don’t want one of those.”
I wasn’t hearing the beautiful, mundane parts to a relationship. Just the extreme, drama-filled parts. I assumed this inevitably had to be involved in every type of relationship.
Granted, I knew people were having great times in a relationship, but I thought that the pain was greater.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
5. I assumed gender roles stemmed from television
I had this impression that women became catty, naggy, and tired because of their partners. The boyfriends became lazy slobs once they felt they didn’t have to impress their women any longer.
I hated that stereotype that was portrayed, but at the same time…
I didn’t realize the stereotypes weren’t always the truth.
Do those relationships exist? Unfortunately, yes.
However, it doesn’t have to be the case. You have a say in your own relationship. You can empower your partner, and your partner can empower you too.
You can continue to make small gestures for each other to show you care all through your lives together, or through your short-term relationship.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
In conclusion, whatever your individual case may be- don’t worry. If you want to have a boyfriend, then he is out there for you. Don’t worry about the “life timeline.” It’s a myth just like those television show characters.
Take a deep breath. Focus on yourself for a while, and work on creating a wonderful, centered version of yourself.
Because when that person comes along, you’ll want to give all of yourself and more.
Thanks for reading.
Ttyl,
Ali D.